When I was growing up I was very quiet
Bordering on introverted when it came to anyone besides my
immediate family and a few close friends.
I never saw myself as a leader, because I didn’t want to speak up
I wanted to control my space really really well (OCD CONTROL) and
that’s about it. I would let everyone and everything else sort itself out.
I operated like that for a long time
When I was asked to be captain of the baseball team as a senior I didn’t
see it as an honor, it actually terrified me, I almost turned it down.
But I decided that I could be a captain/ leader by setting the standard for my
Extra work preseason in the weight room (even though I didn’t know what I was doing)
Extra work hitting on Saturday mornings off the pitching machine (I did know what I was doing)
Arrive early to practice
Extra work after practice
I became comfortable leading by example
Fast forward to the real world of business, employees, husband, father, grown up and I somewhere lost
sight of leading by example.
I began to revert back to trying to control my space around me like I did when I was a kid. But the big problem with that was there were a lot of people in my space/ world now.
I began TELLING people what to do, how to do it. I was pushing from behind, not leading from the front.
I kept asking myself the question, “Why won’t so and so do xyz, I told them what to do.”
I had it all backwards it doesn’t take a genius to see that. But at the time I didn’t see it.
It’s a difficult thing to see when we are in the middle of living the problem.
I wasn’t controlling the controllables in my life.
I was on a mission to control all of the above with the people in my life in order to shape
an unattainable scenario.
So, I pose the question what or who in your life are you trying to control?
Giving YOUR advice is one of the greatest sedation techniques in the world.
It allows us not to pay attention to what we should be doing and we often end up
giving advice on the stuff that we should be but are not doing ourselves.
Funny how that works
What to do next?
Spend some time in the weight room, batting cage, stay late at practice.
LEAD BY EXAMPLE FIRST
Then let those who you are leading ask for help at their own pace
because no one has ever been convinced to change by being forced into it.
Am I the best leader? Nope
Am I better than I was? Yep
Do I continue to work at it? Yep