Mad at myself
All reasons I wasn’t going to share
but I realize now
That lessons like this one are a necessity to share b/c there is no way it won’t help at least one person.
And that is really the other side to the coin with this email blog. Try and help at least 1 person with each email.
While doing what other coaches and gyms won’t talk about or offer help with. The real problems facing us aren’t how to lose body fat or deadlift more weight it’s problems like the one I’m going to share.
This lesson goes back to this past November
As many of you know my wife had surgery. The surgery had her laid up for a few weeks and required a good 6 weeks of recovery.
During that same time I was working hard on a joint venture project that was kicking off in January.
Year end work required when owning a business
A son who hit a stretch of struggles with school
The holidays approaching
And my personal goals that I set in October
I was pushing hard on all fronts
The universe pushed back
Actually it kicked me in the dick (and my neck)
I failed all 4 of my goals I set for myself
The joint venture blew up before it ever got started
Slipped a disc in my neck on Dec 31
Stacy recovered wonderfully and we got Roy back on track with school
But all of that put me in the pit
I don’t like to say depressed but essentially that’s where I was
But I told myself I don’t have time to be depressed but I actually couldn’t get out of my head to get right.
My normal release of stress to train, couldn’t do it, tried but my body kept resisting. To the point that I had 8 discs out of place in my back.
No problem, I will meditate. This is an easy go to when I get stressed but my favorite form of meditation is lying down. Wasn’t effective bc it hurt to lie down
Sleep/Rest same problem as meditating, wasn’t helping.
I felt like a failure on all the stuff that I excel at:
business, training, motivating
I didn’t want to do any of them.
Then one day I decided to do what works
Go back to a simple tool that I have taught others
but while in the pit I completely forgot about it
Reframe the situation by asking a few simple questions
Why is it positive?
What lesson did I learn?
How can I apply it?
I then realized I didn’t fail at everything.
I actually excelled at being a dad. I went above and beyond during that stretch.
I grew at being a better husband bc for the first time I think I actually shared with Stacy how I was feeling at that time of struggle instead of months later which is what I would normally do.
Any you guys relate to that? Not wanting to seem weak in the eyes of our spouse.
Any of you ladies relate? You already know our dumb asses are doing it and you are just waiting to see if we tell you.
Man our Ego and testosterone really get in the way.
Next: I then went back to another tool that I have used for a few years now.
I leaned in on people that I trust.
My good friend (who also owns a gym)
People who aren’t in the fog with me but they understood bc they had been there themselves.
I got back to following my guidelines that I know make me happy and in the order that they need to be taken care of.
First to take care of my body, then study to expand my mind, appreciate my family, get laser focused on what I need to do within my business.
It’s funny to me now that I didn’t want to share this. I had put this email off for weeks.
It’s also funny how when in the fog at the bottom of the pit you can’t see those who are deeper in it than you. You feel like you are the only one.
But there some who are standing with their hand outstretched to pull you up.
They are closer than you think.
What do you do when you fall into the pit?
Do you have a system to climb out?
I do but since the foundation of my system (for me which is my body) was broken I had to learn a new lesson in order to lift myself out.
But what do you do if you don’t have a system to get out?
Are you truly out?
Are you just drifting around faking that you are out of the pit?
Tough question, sometimes it’s hard to tell
Here’s a hint:
If you sedate your way through the problem with food (that’s me) denial (that’s me too) booze, drugs, tv, internet, porn then you actually are still in the pit and don’t know it.
Hey, and if you have never been in the pit, then this isn’t for you and you should probably unsubscribe from this email.
If you don’t like the fact that I just called you out for sedating your problems you should go as well bc we will probably never work together.
For everyone else (especially business owners and dads) I am here to help in anyway possible.
I want to teach you how to get out of the pit instead of just pretending that you are out bc the floor will fall in again when there is no foundation.
your coach Doug
P.S. Another big lesson learned is a new level of empathy for those who may be struggling
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